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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Is It Poop Yet? Is It Poop Yet? Is It Poop Yet?

Ok, life begins at conception. I am with you on that. Doesn’t mean I’m not for killing babies. Just saying I agree with you about when life initiates. Sperm enters egg. That’s black, and white, its definitive, its objective.

Life is an easy one. Here’s a philosophical brain buster for you Mr. Theologian, when does food end and poop begin? When does shit officially become shit? My rectum? Intestines somewhere? Stomach? Esophagus? As soon as you accept the bag from the Arby’s drive-thru? Where is the first place that the stuff that eventually comes out my ass can be called poop?

Answer me that Confucius.

Let’s analyze this scientifically.

No wait. I think semantically would be better.

As demonstrated before, we have tons of words for poop. Once its out our asses we can’t think of enough things to call it. As we speak a team of English doctorates are dreaming up of new synonyms for shit so future generations won’t be stuck using the same 40 words we have for crap. But when is the first time you can accurately describe the matter as shit?

Before it hits my lips its called food. In my mouth its still food. Once I chew it into a lump its called bolus. Going down my esophagus and when it first hits my stomach, its still bolus. Then the magic happens.

The bolus is turned into chyme and sent to my duodenum. Getting close. Its still not shit yet, but you can smell it from here.

So you have this lump of chyme in your small intestines. Peristalsis is slowly working this lump of what used to be food through you. What is chyme you ask? It’s a delicious mixture of chyle (nutrients) and shit. Getting really close.

After your small intestines extracts the chyle, what is left can officially be called poop, crap, turds, feces, doo doo, guano or any of the other million words for it.

There you have it, cold hard semantic proof. Life begins at conception and shit begins at small intestinal digestion.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.