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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

This Is Not A Test

Jeez O’Christ. This will probably be the last post ever. Not for me, but for blogkind. The New World Order is taking over and I for one will be spending the Tribulation in my refashioned Y2K bunker (formerly my Rodney King Race War fortress, formerly my 12/3/90 earthquake module, formerly my father’s Cola Wars sanctuary, formerly my father’s nuclear fallout shelter, formerly my grandfather’s War of The World’s haven, futurely my ‘I-Guess-I-Should-Have-Worn-A-Fucking-Rubber’ hideout), with my bottled water, MRE cache and stack of VHS tapes.

Yeah, now who’s laughing?

I’m not the type to normally get all preachy and bibley, but the shit that’s happening today was all foretold in the good book. Learn to read people. See the signs. It/He’s coming. Shit’s going down.

Technically the bible doesn’t flat out say or even allude to a black man leading the strongest nation, but it should. That’s a sign of the apocalypse if I ever heard of one.

Then, tell me the swine flue isn’t a sign from god.

Blasphemer.

A pandemic caused by hogs? That’s definetly god’s M.O., his name is all over that one. I don’t know exactly where in the bible it foretells that, but I can guarantee it’s in there. Look near the faggy parts would be my guess.

And today’s the day of reckoning. Today’s the day we all get judged. That’s right, its DTV Conversion Day, just as foretold in the book of Revelations (probably), and confirmed by astrologers and MBA’s worldwide (most likely).

Repent, say some prayers, light some candles and smear the blood of your old analog T.V. onto your doors in the hopes that the FCC will have mercy upon all who dwell in your household.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.