porkjerky plogThe Ole Turd Defense
I wonder if there has ever been a murder investigation that required the cops to do some CSI analysis on a turd to see how long it had been sitting around in a shitter decomposing.
I turded around 5 today, had to run some errands and forgot about this little bastard sitting in my crapper until 11. Luckily I wasn’t arrest for a murder that occurred on the other side of town at 5 and didn’t need this bowl of shit to serve as an alibi and was able to flush it.
We got you dead to rights on this one. We have an eye witness who put you at the scene of the crime. Just confess and we will go easy on you.
No, I swear to god it wasn’t me.
Oh really never heard that before. Just come clean, admit you raped, killed and raped again that 85 year old retarded women at 5 tonight and hopefully we can spare you the chair.
Jesus Christ it wasn’t me. Wait? 5 oclock? And the murder was cross town from where I live?
Oh look who’s remembering his heinous crime against ole lady McGillis. Go on, keep confessing.
I’m not confessing, I didn’t do it. There’s a turd in my toilet bowl that can prove it.
He’s right Chief, his story checks out. We just got the lab results back and they confirm that disgusting pile of shit was crapped between 4:50 and 5:10 today. He’s a disgusting fuck, but not the disgusting fuck we are looking for. His only crime is against nature for what goes on in his bathroom and comes out of his ass.
Ahh the good ole turd defense. Perry Mason wins again.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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