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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Blogger Jihad

There are so many similarities: No cure, a consequence of being gay, sent here by god as a punishment for mankind’s sins. And now I just found another one. Like AIDS, no one can identify a definitive starting point for blogging.

I had the ammonia nitrate all packed. I disassembled my kitchen timer to make it work. I carefully packed shrapnel all around it. I wrapped it all up in non-descript manilla packaging with no return address and generic postage. I picked out a secluded mail box about 60 miles from my house to drop it in. Everything was set. All I needed was to track down the piece of shit who started blogging so I could properly address my mail bomb.

But it turns out there’s no Blogger 0. No one person responsible for infecting the internet with their insidious viral tripe disease. Oh, Wikipedia, points out a couple of losers who started near the beginning, lists some developers of early websites that helped with blogging and mentions initial versions of the first blogging platforms. But no one can pinpoint and give me a specific target for who started it all.

I was hoping blogs were like vampires too. If I could have found and destroyed the head blogger, the one who infected everyone else with this desire to spill their boring thoughts and ideas onto the internet, then I had hoped his spell over everyone would be broken. All the ones he infected would immediately return to their normal, non-blogging selves.

My pipe bomb dream was probably just a simple pipe dream. Oh well, I’m sure it willl be just like all that asbestos I tore out of my attic; the neighbor kids will find a use for it.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.