porkjerky plogAnother Award Winning Shitty Blog
How far do you think the average person is away from a weather forecast? 15 seconds tops? Right? And that’s including all the Amazon, African and Micronesian tribes that think the weather can be manipulated by their deceased ancestors if cajoled properly with a disemboweled goat. And anyone else, like poor people, old people and Amish who doesn’t have easy access to cable T.V. or the internet.
If I asked you to find out what the weather would be like tomorrow you could have that in 5 seconds being on the internet and all. But even if you didn’t use the web, you still have the T.V., maybe a newspaper and god forbid the radio, all shoving the weather forecast down your throat if you wanted.
6 billion people on this planet and on average, at any time, we are only ¼ a minute away from knowing what some witchdoctor meteorologist thinks the weather is going to be like tomorrow.
Worse still, I bet around 40% of the population spends more time somehow engaged in observing a weather forecast than actually outside in the weather themselves. 40% easy. I actively avoid weather forecasts and would say I still am exposed to it 30 minutes a day.
Ticker crawls across the bottom of the local news, newscast cocktease commercials (i.e. Rain tomorrow morning, tuned in at 10 to see how the rest of the day will turn out) during regular programming, driving with the radio on, accidentally flipping past the Weather Channel, its even in newspapers and every time I open up Yahoo. Fuck, every time I boot up my Wii it tells me. Yeah, 30 minutes a day at least.
However, shitty local T.V. stations everywhere still deem it necessary to actually blog about the fucking weather. Its not bad enough they spend 5 minutes at the start of every newscasts telling us that they will be telling us about the weather, then another 10 minutes telling us about the weather, followed by a 2 minute recap of what they told us about the weather, now the fuckers are moving their time filling skills to the net.
And let’s not forget all the regular programming they break into to tell us about how a farmer 400 miles away thinks he might have seen a funnel cloud. I swear to David Koresh if I am on the jury of a serial killer who preys on T.V. meteorologists that guy’s walking scot-free and getting a hug.
Of the many, and I mean many, horribly shitty weather blogs in the world, I decided to give this Porkjerky.com Whenever I Want To Give It Out Shitty Blog Award to the WMCTV.com Weather Blog.
Mainly because I got tired of looking through all those fucking weather blogs to find the shittiest. That and Memphis truly is the butthole of America.
Congratulations and kill yourselves.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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