Status Quo Poo

Good news, turns out not only was I wrong about my shit being a telltale sign that I have the pestilence du jour, but that shit wasn’t actually fresh.

Shit Normal, All Fucked Up

I forgot to immediately take a picture and ambled off to do whatever it is I do in that post-shitting, euphoria induced state we all get in after a monstrous crap. Luckily, I also remembered not to flush so my daily loaf was still there for the filming when I came back to my senses a couple hours later.

That meant it had time to marinate, stew in its juices and do whatever turds do when they sit unflushed in a toilet for half a day. It also means I probably don’t have the swine flu.

Yet.

Thank the good lord allah almighty, my crap’s back to normal. But, if you’re a professional or amateur shitologist and can see something in the pic that’s amiss, feel free to contact me and tell me what I have.

Besides a fatal case of awesomeness and a touch of the hugecockitis, that is. I already have medical bracelets to warn others about those conditions.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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It saddens me that the most appropriate response to people like you in a situation like this has become an overused, hackneyed throw-away phrase. Although we have all heard it at least 4 times today just in passing, please allow me to say it one more time with heartfelt earnest and every fiber of my being behind it: Fuck you.