• Home
• About
• Advertise
Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Shitty Blog Award, Number Something Or Other

Yesterday, after my vocabulary was expanded, I spent the day trying to think of phrases so that I could use my new favorite word everyday for the rest of my life.

Anyway, the list goes on and on. After I got bored with that I turned to my good ole friend Google Blog Search. And found another winner of the Porkjerky.com Random Time Interval Shitty Blog Award: The Labiaplasty Nightmare Blog.

Honestly the competition for this one was fierce. I found 44 blogs with the term ‘labiaplasty’ in their titles and I was as giddy as gay guy in a labiaplasty factory. Some were doctors trying to pimp their pussy plastic surgery practices. Others were people who were adamantly against it for either feminist or sexual fetish reasons. If you ask me, and implicitly you did, all were a little too invested in labiaplasty; evidenced by the fact they all started blogs about it.

Ultimately, The Labiaplasty Nightmare Blog won because it truly is a shitty blog and I love me some good schadenfreude.

First and foremost it’s a shitty blog. Its up on Blogger, which allows anyone with 5 minutes, an internet connection and an IQ 65 and above to have a blog. If they made it just a little bit harder the web wouldn’t be in the shape it is. It’s a lot like the thought people put into having kids—fuck like hell, pop the little shit out, try to be a good parent when its convenient for them—anyone can do it and with only minimal effort. Of course, very few try to do it well or even think about it to begin with.

This blog is a shining example of that. She registered, set up her blog and wrote one fucking post. One post and hasn’t been back to it since. Why? Because who gives a fuck—its just a Blogger account, I can write about one thing one time and be done with it and have it junk up the internet for years to come. Thank you Blogger.

Secondly, it won because I love when people not only make stupid decisions and fuck themselves over but actually think I am going to be compassionate for their idiocy when they tell me.

Long funny story short: this cunt had her cunt cut up to make it prettier. Her labia were mismatched and she wanted it fixed—the doctor told her that they could do that and then told her all the other things wrong with her pussy that they could fix with the magical healing powers of a scalpel. Turns out that not only did it physically hurt like a motherfucker but she was emotionally hurt as well.

That’s right, she having pussy buyer’s remorse. Her spiffy new snatch isn’t all it was cut up to be.

And the best part is the cliched ending. Every time I read some stupid bitch’s story, no matter her predicament (abusive relationship, she’s an alcoholic, got raped, she had her pussy sliced up to make it prettier), she always ends it with the feminist anthem—reminding others that they are beautiful in their own right….to be proud of who they are…blah blah blah…love yourself…blah blah blah…inner strength…comfortable with yourself as you are…blah blah blah, puke puke puke. Its like by saying it and pretending to direct it at other people they will hopefully buy their own bullshit and believe it about themselves.

Again, congratulations to The Labiaplasty Nightmare Blog for being such a shitty blog it makes me want to labiaplasty my eyes out.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.