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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Anusplasty

Oh hot fudge covered shit sundae, I love the healthcare system in America. Oh sure, people complain about the unimportant, minor aspects of our system—it costs too much, it’s too beaureacratic, it’s hard to find a good doctor, they don’t spend enough time with the patients, blah blah blah.

What a bunch of grade A, triple inspected horseshit.

Not to get all rush limbaugh on you, but I guarantee you that no country with socialized health care comes even close to us. Especially, when it comes to very important medical procedures like titty bigifying, sucking fat out of lazy fucks, make Joan Rivers more plasticky and shooting poison into the lips of wannabe MILFs.

What a great nation we live in. While other countries are fucking around, wasting resources on trying to end communicable diseases, making sure everyone is covered and providing adequate access, the U.S. government agency in charge of our healthcare (FDA) is tackling the important issues—like setting a minimum age to get breast augmentation.

God bless the USA.

After finding site after site after site after site extolling the virtues of making your cunt pretty (I swear to god its true: Labiaplasty on Wikipedia), I am sure as shit that some ugly, insecure bitch has asked a plastic surgeon to tighten the crow’s feet around her brown eye.

Or maybe she let herself go and wants to liposuction out her asshole to get it to the size it was on her wedding day. Or maybe, just maybe it doesn’t look exactly like she wants, so she got a picture of Julia Robert’s and wants the surgeon to give her the pooper of a movie star.

Trust me, chicks are pretty dumb, I am sure it has happened. Some bitch had to be the first to go “Hey doc, how about you cut off my nipples, put in some bags filled with saltwater in where those holes are and sew my tits back up so I can look hot.”

Some where, somehow there is a woman with an ugly asshole who thinks plastic surgery on her shitter will bring her happiness and self-esteem.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.