porkjerky plogArchive for March, 2009
Congratulations, Its A Baby Turd
Now, I don’t want to get all Dead Poets Society on you, but isn’t a change of perspective awesome? Take just a second, stand back a little and look at the picture as a whole. Try not to see the shit or the toilet paper or pissy water or the porcelain. Just see the shapes. […]
Screwed By The Blood Of Jesus Christ
I am a dick in general. Oh, I talk a good game, write about dumbfucks and idiotards and stupid asses and retards and on and on and on. I even created an epithet generator to help others find the appropriate term to use on people they dislike. I make gratuitous, physically impossible, idle threats to […]
Shit I Found Beside The Road
Glory days are here again. The tow trucks have pulled away, the flares have burned out, I took another huge shit, funerals have been had, people have littered up our nations highways a little more and just put up some new roadside memorial pictures because of it all. I like to think of this shitty […]
The Second Derivative Of Shitty Blogging
Fuck whore piss cunt turd ass booger shit. What a fucking wasteland. The web was supposed to give rise to all our great potential as individuals. It was to give everyone a voice, to connect great minds and to let us collaborate upon our great ideas. Turns out though, that its a shouting game where […]
Fucking Shit
Baby, we’ve been together 6 wonderful years now. We know and love each others’ families. We click on so many levels. You have always been there for me and I have always been there for you. Now, I am a little nervous asking this, but I think our relationship has gotten to the point where […]
Ballad Of The Brown Eye
There once was a huge turd in my rear Little brown bitch was going nowhere I got super pissed Grabbed it with my fist Pulled liked hell….until I felt a tear
Pop Culture Pedophilia
Initially this was going to be about how engrossed our culture is with shit. But then it took a horribly awesome, wrong turn. A few posts back I detailed all the various words and phrases we have in America for shit, ass and anus. Amazing. Within 4 minutes of starting I had 20 words for […]
Life’s Crappy Theater
I will beat the sight out of the next deaf motherfucker who wants me to buy some crappy flower because he thinks his deaf ass can’t work. Then they will experience a real handicap. Today was like the 3rd time that’s happened to me—and with a different mute each time. I am eating lunch and […]
Diarrhea Can Kiss My Rosy-Red, Black Ass
Diarrhea gets a bad rap. From Latin, it probably literally means “soupy poop”, which inherently isn’t bad. I mean, so my shit isn’t solid. As the teeny boopers are fond of saying these days: Big fucking deal. It’s not like I am showing it to the world trying to impress everyone by having solid bowels. […]
