porkjerky plogShitacular Blog Award
Clench your sphincters shut, slap on another rubber and think twice about raping that marmoset at the Austin Zoo. Thanks to today’s winner of the Porkjerky.com Random Time Interval Shitty Blog Award, I now know of another strain of a popular disease that’s going to kill us all.
It’s a disease that the mainstream media is afraid to tell you about. Today’s winning blog, though, isn’t. And for their great reporting and drive to bring awareness of this heinous disease to the world (well, up until their untimely and unexplained demise), I am granting The Texas AIDS Blog a shitty blog award.
Its not butt herpes, its not pancreatic Ebola, its not a new and improved plague or the flesh eating virus du jour, its Texas AIDS, the most debilitating kind of AIDS…I suppose. All I know is that prefixing anything with ‘Texas’ makes it 371 times shittier. Whether it be Toast, Two Stepping, Chain Saw Massacres or AIDS, everything is stepped up a notch on the shittiness scale by putting ‘Texas’ in front of it. Of course, I have no idea the details how it differs from Magic Johnson AIDS, but still, I don’t want none of it.
Name aside, there are a few other reasons The Texas AIDS Blog is a winner. For one, I think everyone at The Texas AIDS Blog died 2 years ago from Texas AIDS. That’s the only logical explanation I could come up with for why the most recent post was from January 2007. They sure as shit didn’t explain why they were stopping.
Secondlymost, it demonstrates the most typical type of shitty blog post—a post about how shitty their blogging system is. 3 out of their last 4 posts on the site were about their inability or frustration with they software they had. Riveting. Everyone and their infected uncle Larry love to hear about your inabilities to live in the modern age. Come for the Texas AIDS, stay for the exciting content about Carolyn’s trepidation in updating to the newest version of Blogger.
How many fucking blog posts exists devoted solely to peoples’ troubles with blogging? That question started out rhetorical, but now that I think about it, that’s a good god damn idea. Stay tuned.
In conclusion, while we all have heard about West Nile Virus, lesbianism and Stockholm Syndrome; now, thanks to today’s winner, we all have a new location-named disease to worry about getting: Texas AIDS.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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