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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Dog Shit Capitalism

Here’s a story behind the story.

Ok, everyone knows about the delicious irony of me having a blog so I can crap about how shitty blogs are. While I was trying to sell ads on this shithole plog of mine I googled/yahooed a bunch of keywords that related to it. I hoped to get ads that would lead me to companies that were spending money on advertising on poop-related terms. Words like, diuretic, diarrhea, enema, colon and other shit/ass related terms.

When the results were returned the right hand column had a list of advertisers—which is what I was after. These fucks, actually set up ad buying accounts, logged in and paid to have their ads displayed to every idiot who did a poop related searched. Obviously, anyone willing to pay a dime to have his or her site show up when a dumbass searched for shitty terms was probably stupid enough to buy advertising on my site.

God bless capitalism. My quest started out with a seemingly stupid idea, but was quite enlightening. It actually turned into a game: What retarded, disgusting term can I type into a search engine and get results that people paid to put there?

Try it:

I understand that people want to market their products. Competition and innovation are suppose to be great. But at some point, you’re a fucking idiot for being in business. Try this one:

I got 80 sponsored results. 80 different organizations are paying to have their ads returned in Google whenever someone searches for ‘Dog Toilet’. 1 Dog Toilet company would make me chuckle. 2 would too. 3-10 would start me thinking that I am a horrible pet owner for making my dog piss and shit outside. 11-20 makes me think that the dog toilet market just might be saturated.

But 80? 80 fucking companies that have a dog toilet related product just makes the whole fucking system stupid.

The world needs 80 different companies not only selling items related to ‘Dog Toilet’, but paying Google to have their sites come up when people type that in? At what point does the dog toilet industry get to big to fail and we all have to chip in 2.8 billion dollars to keep it afloat?

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.