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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Bigger Buttholes For All

How far along did the Human Genome Project advance our ability to play god? Can they actually do anything with it yet, or is it like a read only CD? Can they make changes or do they just know what’s gonna happen based on DNA with no ability to modify it like they want?

I know they can look at a baby’s DNA and go, “It’s a boy, he has blue eyes and it’s gonna be super-retarded. Not autistic, not Aspergers, not anything special, just plain retarded. Yeah, you’re gonna be wiping his ass and feeding him for the next 22 years. Oh, and it’s left handed and it can roll its ‘R’s”.

But can they actually do something about it? Like add some Adenine here. Take out some Cytosine there and exchange Thymine for Guanine in a couple spots? And not make the baby a southpaw retard?

If so, I say we give the next generation second assholes. Or double the throughput of the current model. Trust me, they will thank us.

I’m not claiming to be an expert, but anything to increase their shitting capacity would be great. Clearly, one larger asshole would be the way to go, but I think before we dive headfirst into bigger buttholes we should have some engineers run some computer simulations. A poop chute with more girth sounds all well and good, but is that going to require an upgraded sphincter as well? I mean you can’t just ream out your engine’s cam shafts and expect more horsepower, you gotta make sure everything will work with them.

I mean, What goods a bigger asshole if you can’t close it?

That’s why, maybe we go to a dual asshole system. Again, I am not an expert, before we go rewriting generation Z’s DNA, lets do some research into the details. I’m just saying, with as fat as that generation will be, it would be beneficial to give them larger ani. I’m just thinking of the children.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.