porkjerky plogArchive for January, 2009
Wide Load
As I pinched off today’s loaf, I was watching another boring Discovery Channel documentary on some animal that did something that everyone knows about. Something like the male emperor penguin incubates the egg or male salmon get all ugly when they swim up stream or crocodiles can run fast or Tyra Banks is a crazy […]
The Fine Line Between Toilet and GMAC Bowls
Speaking of Bowl Games (which I did yesterday, btw, (I write ‘btw’ because now that I am a blogger I need to take all the shortcuts I can to save my precious time. Also, it allows me to impress upon my readership (you), that my vocabulary is so robust and big and shit that I […]
Holy Crap
Finally a shit to be proud of. Now that’s how a real American man craps. Look at that virile turd. With shit like that obviously my dick is huge. Jesus Christ Almighty, its so enormous its starting to wrap around the god damn toilet. Yet again, I have impressed myself—and that’s no easy task. I […]
Deep Shit
If our crap tasted like cinnamon, we would eat less cinnamon or more shit?
By The Hair On My Rectum
Three days in and I already faced my first moral dilemma with this shitting blog. Ok its half past 11pm, I haven’t turded all day—do I try to squat and thrust one out so I have something to post? Do I show a picture of my empty toilet and profusely apologize for not being able […]
“Why Does The Web Suck”
With today’s crap I sat and pondered ‘why does the web suck?’. Then it struck me like the cold water from the black splash of a crashing turd. No wait, there was no like about it–that’s exactly what happened. That’s why I won’t shit in publicly accessible bathrooms. How horrible would it be to get […]
The Shit Hits The Web
Welcome to my addition to the ongoing, worldwide project of bringing the web down upon itself. Remember when the net used to be useful and worthwhile? Google used to work. Ads didn’t cover 90% of a page and links weren’t paid to be everywhere, but were there because they lead to more useful stuff. Sure, […]
