porkjerky plogArchive for January, 2009
138th Shitty Thing About Blogs
Oh man, I thought of something super shitty about blogs. As usual I won’t just be bitching about it, but doing it. This porkjerky plog classic originally ran 8 days ago. Enjoy. Look at that. That’s some mighty fine shitting my friends. That turd’s going up on my refrigerator. It doesn’t happen often, but when […]
You Ain’t Shit
Here’s a corollary and the bright side to Friday’s post: No matter how famous you’ve become, nor how much your car cost, nor how attractive you pretend to be, nor how huge your house, plasma T.V., tits or cock are, nor how important you’ve mislead yourself to think you are, nor how educated, intelligent nor […]
Higher Level Species My Ass
Really? I mean come on. Its 2009. This is how we have to live? In the immortal words of the patron saint of bullshit, John Stossel: Give me a break. There is no fucking reason for this. I mean, they can put a man on the moon and a vagina on a man (Of course […]
Medical Fact: A Toilet Can Never Be Clean
The color of the water in the picture is not my doing, its the chick who takes my photograph in front of roadside memorials. The cute little turd though: Pure me. Why in the name of Buddha does anyone buy that stupid blue water coloring shit to put in their toilet? The only person you’re […]
Things Blogs Suck For $200 Please
Son of a retarded rapist, blogs suck my unwiped ass. I spent most of today trying to whore out my plog: submitting it to blog indexes, setting up links that notify certain services when I make a new post, sending out spam and a whole bunch of other boring shit so that I can successfully […]
Money Over Bitches? That’s Crap
The biggest problem I have with the state of the internet is that it reflects change. The world isn’t the same place I grew up in. The worst part isn’t the technology or fancy new phrases or that damn hip hop and roll music, its a fundamental shift in what we value as a society. […]
Que Caca, Caca
First and foremost, after 12 days of figuratively and literally adding worthless shit to the web, I added something good to it today. On the non-shitty (non-blog) portion of my site, I added the Porkjerky.com Guaranteed Pickup Line Generator for you to incorporate into your shitty slice of the web. I hope that makes up […]
Good Shit
Look at that. That’s some mighty fine shitting my friends. That turd’s going up on my refrigerator. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does its something special. I am a simple man who can appreciate the simple things in life. People always love to whine about their bad luck and always bitch about things […]
Crisis Averted, Again
You guys ever… have you ever after your done clogging the porcelain like jumped up real fast, yank up your pants, shorts, your what have you and then zipped up real fast and caught the tip of your… you know in the zipper? Have you have you done that? I never have, sounds like it […]
Self-Fulfilling Shitty Blog Post
Oh man, my birthday post is going to be awesome. I am working on it now and its sweet. Super duper mega kick ass awesome. The kind of awesome that’s illegal now because it has been shown to grow cancerous tumors the size of papayas in lab rats and because of the terrorists and because […]
