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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

A Turd Is A Turd Is A Turd

Oh look, January 20, 2009, let’s celebrate this new turd. Take to the streets. Sing a song. Wave a flag. Oh god bless this new turd. Its going to make our whites whiter, our brights brighter, help us lose 20 lbs without watching what we eat, increase our closet space by 200% and cook an entire turkey in less than an hour. Oh it truly is a turd of change.

Granted its proved itself in no way other than through lip service—like all the other turds–but it’s a different turd. A turd of a new opportunity, a turd that represents change and progress. A turd a shade different than all the other turds.

All hail this turd.

Hey, I am with you. This turd possibly can’t be worse than the last turd. It stank, it overran its toilet bowl. It felt like it was coming out sideways and had no real regard for the world around it. It was scheming, manipulative, criminal at times and overall just a vile, vile turd. It splashed water back up when it plopped down. Fuck, it possibly shouldn’t have been a turd in the first place. So I understand, this new turd possibly can’t be the worst turd ever. But that doesn’t make this new turd a good turd.

And even if it is a good turd, that’s still a turd.

Just because you’ve been in an abusive relationship for the last decade doesn’t mean the first turd you find is the best turd ever. Or not a turd. It just means all the other turds you have known have lowered your expectations such that any turd that comes along and whispers sweet lies about how good its going to treat you if you just give it a shot, clouds your perspective.

Mark my words, this is a turd like all the other turds.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.