• Home
• About
• Advertise
Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Que Caca, Caca

First and foremost, after 12 days of figuratively and literally adding worthless shit to the web, I added something good to it today. On the non-shitty (non-blog) portion of my site, I added the Porkjerky.com Guaranteed Pickup Line Generator for you to incorporate into your shitty slice of the web.

I hope that makes up for what happened this weekend. I didn’t address it yesterday, but for all you die-hard feces fans keeping score at home, I didn’t crap Saturday, thus no post. While I will not apologize for my digestive cycle, I do empathize with you for not being able to get your daily shit fix here.

I am not one of these people who fret over my bowel movements everyday and get worried if they don’t happen. Or make sure the color, shape, size and consistency are within the standard deviation of all my prior craps.

I mean come on, who gives a prolapsed rectum if you shit everyday? Not me. I shit when I want, where I want, what I want and only if I want. Unlike some people, I don’t keep my anus on such a short leash—it’s free to do what it wants. Its earned my trust and I treat it as an equal. No need to micromanage it.

So please don’t take it personally that I didn’t post. Allow me to allay any of your fears by saying this: If I don’t shit, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. It just means I didn’t shit.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.