porkjerky plogSelf-Fulfilling Shitty Blog Post
Oh man, my birthday post is going to be awesome. I am working on it now and its sweet. Super duper mega kick ass awesome. The kind of awesome that’s illegal now because it has been shown to grow cancerous tumors the size of papayas in lab rats and because of the terrorists and because the world has started pussifying itself in the name of ‘thinking of the children’—like what they did with lawn darts.
Anyway, the post on my birthday is gonna be that kind of awesome.
This is the part of the post where you quit reading and tell me to fuck off. I don’t know if I have brought it up, but I fucking hate blogs. And what I did in the first line of this post is an excellent example of why they suck my duodenum.
Blogs are turning into the fucking TV news, always trying to cock tease you into staying tuned through the commercials or being sure you stay watching to catch the nightly newscast or trying to get you to bookmark their page and check back often. Fuck them and their bullshit tricks to improve their ratings a hundredth of a percent or grinding out the information they have for 2 more posts so they can squeeze a couple more page views into their Google stats. Manipulative, vapid shit eaters.
But in all serious, my birthday—awesomeness—bookmark this page and tune back in then.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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