porkjerky plogHoly Crap
Finally a shit to be proud of. Now that’s how a real American man craps. Look at that virile turd. With shit like that obviously my dick is huge. Jesus Christ Almighty, its so enormous its starting to wrap around the god damn toilet.
Yet again, I have impressed myself—and that’s no easy task.
I am going to have to check with my grandfather and get the true story of my lineage, because that crap reeks of nobility. With shit like that running through my bowels, I must have royalty running through my veins. That’s no serf crap, that’s the shit of a man with a mission.
Of course, not all the glory goes to me. Come on, if this season of playoffs and series of bowl championships has taught us anything it’s that everything is done for His honor. Everything.
Quarterback sacks, 19 yard field goals, open field tackles, first downs, end-a-rounds and touchdowns are always for his glory. So, I too would like to do the right thing and thank the good Lord for blessing me with this ability to shit so mightily. For it is only with Him squatting beside me that I am able to crap so divinely. In his glory and with the strength only He can provide, I honor him by shitting to the best of my abilities.
In his name, no matter how magnificent the pile in my toilet, I always wipe my ass, point to heaven and say ‘Amen’.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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