porkjerky plogBy The Hair On My Rectum
Three days in and I already faced my first moral dilemma with this shitting blog. Ok its half past 11pm, I haven’t turded all day—do I try to squat and thrust one out so I have something to post? Do I show a picture of my empty toilet and profusely apologize for not being able to deliver? Maybe I just say screw it and tell the huge audience I have built up that I am taking weekends off.
Boy, how wrong I was about what bloggers go through to deliver their high quality content. Its definetly not as easy I first thought.
Yeah, right, eat my shit.
Luckily, I guess, the glass of milk I drank at 10 kicked in and my moral crises was avoided. Now, I am not one of these god damn martyrs who love to bring up their lactose intolerance to the world. Jesus fucking Christ its like those motherfuckers are war veterans serving their country with their inability to digest lactose. They bring it up at every opportunity and want both your pity and respect. Suck my dick.
In reality, I may not even be lactose intolerant, I just know it makes me shit. And liquidily at that. So at 11:40 and I it was like I was shooting hot BB’s out my ass—hot, fast, a bunch of plopping, I mean a bunch of plopping and then everything sank.
Not much too see, but by the grace of god I made it.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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