porkjerky plog“Why Does The Web Suck”
With today’s crap I sat and pondered ‘why does the web suck?’. Then it struck me like the cold water from the black splash of a crashing turd. No wait, there was no like about it–that’s exactly what happened.
That’s why I won’t shit in publicly accessible bathrooms. How horrible would it be to get A.I.D.S. from gas station toilet water splashing up into your asshole? I mean #1, do you tell that story to people when they ask how you got it? #2 do you really expect people to buy it? And #3 wouldn’t getting it from being fucked in the ass at a truck stop shower while you were someone’s bitch for $8 and a strip of Pemmican Beef Jerky be a more noble way to contract A.I.D.S. anyway? Call me old fashioned.
Hell, even if its not A.I.D.S., how would you like to catch something like even the flu from water splashing back into your gaping asshole? No thank you sir. Until they make toilet protectors that guard against that I am crapping only in familiar surroundings unless it’s a life and death emergency and no shrubbery is around.
After my unwanted, accidental bidet, I struck upon a great way to find out why does the web suck: I googled the phrase “’why does the web suck’” (Notice the single quotes, those are important). I wanted to find that exact phrase and hopefully the results would enlighten me. Unfortunately I was disappointed because my search did, far more than I anticipated.
It was like being a poor kid in a Jehovah Witness’s orphanage on Christmas during a recession; expecting only underwear and socks but getting a torn pair of shit-stained not so tidy whities, 4 sizes to small and an IOU for thrift store socks. My expectations were low for this search, and the actual results were even worse.
Google gave me 7 pages: 1 was the captured text from a chat room discussion of 2 nerds. Then I got 2 results each for blogs, forums and ad farms—each more boring and drivel filled than the previous one.
Turns out when you ask the web why does it suck, it’s because it does. My hypothesis about the web and entire point for having this blog is even truer than I thought.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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