Omniscience->Truth About Underage Drinking

	The God's Honest Scientific Truth1: Underage Drinking Literally Kills...

But not you, it kills children. And not just any children, but cute white ones. And when cute white children die because you drink underage they don't get to go to heaven. Oh no. Underage drinking not only harms you as will be explained below, but it condems, cute, innocent, white children who never did anything wrong, had their whole lives in front of them and who would have surely grown up to be war hero saints who find the cure for cancer and end world hunger; to an eternity in hell. Hope you're happy.

While this site is here for the children, it isn't here to point fingers and place blame on you for sending babies to hell because of your filthy, immoral need for boozing it up. No, this page isn't here to judge you and all those other soulless, turd munching, heretic fuck-for-brains who love drinking underage, but its here to lovingly embrace you and guide you into walking the correct path in life, no matter how fucking retarded you are. This page isn't about name calling, it is about educating people about the stone-cold, time-tested facts about underage drinking. Hopefully, once you have read the undeniable, scientifically proven¹ consequences of underage drinking you will choose to stop being such a callous, child-endangering, godless prick.

Hopefully, for the children. And so the terrorists don't win.

I would like to say the below sideshow is a dramatization of what could or might happen if someone engages in drinking underage but it isn't. It is an actual recreation of events that will immediately happen to you everytime you drink underage.

	Underage Drinking: The Graphically Honest Truth1 Play Back Next Brainwash Mode: Prepare to have your mind blown with the scientifically proven effects of underage drinking.

Maybe you still aren't convinced and still think that "boozing it up" is cool. Well let me tell you something about being cool you little misguided Fonzi, underage drinking is definitely not cool. In fact, its totally uncool. Let's suppose that you are selfish and don't want to stop boozing it up no matter how many babies you are personally responsible to sending to Lucifer. Well, there are also consequences for you that will absolutely occur.

Time and again, when people drink underage, they always end up going blind¹, being set on fire¹, and spending the rest of their life in prison being ass raped by a big black man¹ who is bigger and blacker than that guy in The Green Mile². And all of that will absolutely, positively, without a doubt, certainly happen to you and there is nothing short of not drinking underage that will prevent it. Guaranteed.

Everytime you drink underage it's as if you are poking your own eyes out, setting yourself on fire and lubing your own ass up for some aggravated, african sodomy. Is that the kind of life you want to lead? Is that how your parents raised you? Is that the example you want to set for the children?

Still not convinced? What if you were shown the irrefutable facts about underage drinking that have been proven thousands of times over in clinical studies by the world's leading scientists¹? Well, let's see how "cool" and "bodacious" and "groovy" you think "boozing it up" is after you try these scientifically proven truths¹ on for size:

So, for the children's sake, remember that everytime you drink underage; babies die, the terrorists win, the american way of life is endangered and you are literally begging to be set on fire, blinded, imprisoned and ass raped by a huge black man. Now that you know all the indisputable facts¹ I trust you will make the correct decision in life. For the children.