Omniscience->Truth About Masturbation

	The God's Honest Scientific Truth1: Masturbation Literally Kills...

But not you, it kills children. And not just any children, but cute white ones. And when cute white children die because you masturbate they don't get to go to heaven. Oh no. Masturbation not only harms you as will be explained below, but it condems, cute, innocent, white children who never did anything wrong, had their whole lives in front of them and who would have surely grown up to be war hero saints who find the cure for cancer and end world hunger; to an eternity in hell. Hope you're happy.

While this site is here for the children, it isn't here to point fingers and place blame on you for sending babies to hell because of your filthy, immoral need for jerking off. No, this page isn't here to judge you and all those other soulless, turd munching, heretic fuck-for-brains who love masturbating, but its here to lovingly embrace you and guide you into walking the correct path in life, no matter how fucking retarded you are. This page isn't about name calling, it is about educating people about the stone-cold, time-tested facts about masturbation. Hopefully, once you have read the undeniable, scientifically proven¹ consequences of masturbation you will choose to stop being such a callous, child-endangering, godless prick.

Hopefully, for the children. And so the terrorists don't win.

I would like to say the below sideshow is a dramatization of what could or might happen if someone engages in masturbating but it isn't. It is an actual recreation of events that will immediately happen to you everytime you masturbate.

	Masturbation: The Graphically Honest Truth1 Play Back Next Brainwash Mode: Prepare to have your mind blown with the scientifically proven effects of masturbation.

Maybe you still aren't convinced and still think that "jerking off" is cool. Well let me tell you something about being cool you little misguided Fonzi, masturbation is definitely not cool. In fact, its totally uncool. Let's suppose that you are selfish and don't want to stop jerking off no matter how many babies you are personally responsible to sending to Lucifer. Well, there are also consequences for you that will absolutely occur.

Time and again, when people masturbate, they always end up going blind¹, being set on fire¹, and spending the rest of their life in prison being ass raped by a big black man¹ who is bigger and blacker than that guy in The Green Mile². And all of that will absolutely, positively, without a doubt, certainly happen to you and there is nothing short of not masturbating that will prevent it. Guaranteed.

Everytime you masturbate it's as if you are poking your own eyes out, setting yourself on fire and lubing your own ass up for some aggravated, african sodomy. Is that the kind of life you want to lead? Is that how your parents raised you? Is that the example you want to set for the children?

Still not convinced? What if you were shown the irrefutable facts about masturbation that have been proven thousands of times over in clinical studies by the world's leading scientists¹? Well, let's see how "cool" and "bodacious" and "groovy" you think "jerking off" is after you try these scientifically proven truths¹ on for size:

So, for the children's sake, remember that everytime you masturbate; babies die, the terrorists win, the american way of life is endangered and you are literally begging to be set on fire, blinded, imprisoned and ass raped by a huge black man. Now that you know all the indisputable facts¹ I trust you will make the correct decision in life. For the children.