Dear Delilah,
I am in the middle of a life crisis, so like any smart person, I turn to you. Ha ha. But seriously, I really respect you and
your decision making, so here goes. I grew up in a small farm town in where everyone, myself included; had good, solid,
traditional values. We worked hard, left our front doors unlocked, listened to your great show, we all knew and liked each
other in the community, and men fell in love with and married women.
Here and now that's not the case. Since I started college and moved to the big fast city nothing is like it was, and I am
getting scared. Scared of the people around me, and scared of the person that I am becoming. For one, everyone has locks,
chains, and at least one deadbolt on all their doors and windows, and no one dares get to know each other. For two,
decadence is the rule not the exception here. Morals and values do not exist. For three, no one falls in love, nor marries
anymore. They all just want to have meaningless sex with anyone and everyone, even the men with the men (now I know
why they say 'as american as apple pie' (it's a sex reference--and not the good kind, if you know what I mean). And for
four, and probably the worst of all (ha ha), I don't even listen to your show as often as I should. But seriously, I just recently
turned you on again, because your show gives me comfort and hopefully guidance.
My real problem is not that I am stuck here between 2 hard places, Sodom and Gomorra. The problem is that I am being
assimilated into this crass culture. I know I have become more lazy, paranoid, and terse since moving here. And although it
hasn't manifest itself into physical acts, I believe homosexuality is already setting in, and as we all know, then will come
pedophilia and heavy drug use. May god have mercy on my soul.
Delilah, can these deviant immoral surroundings cause me to become one of them? Or even worse, are these urges that
I feel toward my fellow man, and I do mean man, be caused by my DNA? Am I destined to be with men no matter where I go
because of some defective genes inside me and these surroundings just triggered my natural deviance? I knew I shouldn't
have bought irradiated meat.
Should I return to my hometown a failure and hope that I can unshackle these unnatural feelings? Or is it too late should I
just stay here and allow myself to become the unemployed, paranoid, doped-up, boy loving monster that is my genetic destiny?
Sincerely,
Enslo S Jacurs
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.