Dear Delilah;
My perspective on life has changed dramatically because of your show. No longer do I view my life as an embarrassing
dreary trickle of waste. Nope. No more. Now I see that it's a gushing stream of golden joy. When God closes a window,
he truly does open up a door. I took my problem and made it an opportunity thanks to the inspiration you, your show and all
your listeners have given me.
Being incontinent and 19, I had pretty much flushed any idea of living a normal life out of my mind. I had resigned myself to
a life of loneliness, lovelessness and Depends. But after hearing, all your beautiful listeners' stories of how they overcame
real problems, I decided that although it may do so to every pair of my khakis, I wouldn't let incontinence rain on my parade of
life.
Last week I gathered up my courage and attended my first People's Incontinence Single Society. Everyone there was
just like me. More important, I was just like everyone else. No one was judgmental. Understanding and acceptance flowed
from everyone at the meeting. I never thought I would, but because of this group, for the first time in my life I can say to
myself, "Yes! You're in!". I am finally part of the cool crowd, not the lonely person on the sidelines. Everyone there was
so upbeat and full to the brim with life. Happiness and warmth cascaded throughout the whole meeting. It was all so great,
it just all overflowed onto me, and I had the greatest time of my life.
I can barely contain myself until the next meeting. For the first time in my life I tingle in anticipation, about doing something.
No longer do they call me "Always in the can Jan", but "Always gets the man Jan, because of all the phone numbers I got for dates.
Hugs and kisses,
Jan Surclesso
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.