porkjerky plogBlogs Suck Ass
The Blogs No One Wanted Custody Of
In honor of my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary (no fucking shit—unfortunately this means I won’t be able to use the I-was-from-a-broken-so-go-easy-on-me speech when they are sentencing me), I am doing something they should have done a long time ago: Celebrate divorce. In my quest to find an award worthy shitty blog about divorce, I stumbled […]
Revenge, A Dish Best Served After 26 Of Suffering
Today’s winner of the Porkjerky.com Periodical Shitty Blog Award reminds me of that time I was using the pedestrian bridge to cross over the interstate on my bike and the cops had it and the interstate closed because some nutbag was threatening to commit suicide off of it. I did what any rational person who […]
The Reverse Singularity
What percentage of the population do you think, has worn a concert T-shirt bought at said concert? My initial thought was the low to mid teens: 1 in 8, 1 in 6 people, right? But then I remembered something very insightful I once heard: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!! I JUST LOVE DAVID COOK. OH I […]
The Turkey Baster Tribulations
Oh my god I was so blind. They aren’t completely vapid. Blogs aren’t as worthless as tits on a retard. They are as fun as tits on a retard. It’s all about perspective. I couldn’t see the pussy for the vulva. Today though, I was able to take a step back and finally realize the […]
The Blogs To End All Blogs
Suppose you are starting to see my point of view and are coming around to the idea that blogs are only for neurotic shut-in retards with a misplaced sense of self-worth. But you’re still not 100% convinced and would like some more information on the subject. Well guess what—there’s a blog posting that’s been written […]
Blogging Obliviously
The Stay Puff Marshmallow Theory of Shitty Blogs is alive and well. Any stupid idea you can think of for a blog—it already exists. Don’t believe me? Check out these retarded blogs. Amish America Blog Blind Access Blog Homless Blog Illiteracy Blog Mensa Blog Hey MENSA, if you if your so smart why do you […]
Blogs Suck Ass For $800, Alex
Don’t try to out circlejerk blogs. You’ll just stand there with a sore, flaccid penis, throbbing balls, a pool of cum on your shoes and disappointment in your eyes as blogs continue to easily shoot out load after load of inanity. Blogs can make a noose out of vapidness, loop it through the rafters of […]
Think Of, And Stalk, The Children
One one hand, as a fan of all things legal and immoral, I totally love The Celebrity Baby Blog. On the other hand….no, wait. There’s no other hand, The Celebrity Baby Blog is awesome through and through. It quite literally is based on the idea that you can exploit children for a dollar. And not […]
Pathetic Revenge Made Easy
This is why the internet rocks my balls off. No longer do you have to go through the trouble of owning or taking by gunpoint a mass media outlet if you want to smear someone’s name. Our lives have become so efficient, so advanced that within seconds, from our own homes, we can take our […]
Pull The Plug
It always makes my vulva throb whenever I am watching the T.V. news and the cocksuckers refer me to their web site to get information necessary to the sound bite they just read. Like when they tell me I should call a government department or visit a certain organization’s web site for more information and […]
