Google Leech

I figured my nuts had healed enough, so I decided to slam them in the internet once again. I had an idea for what would be an excellent shitty blog and wanted to see if it existed. My theory is that any crappy idea for a shitty blog that I can dream up, odds are some dickshaft is already out there doing it.

Humanity's Crapacity

For example, just off the top of my head and without any follow-up to verify it: I bet there is a blog out there devoted to following a minor league baseball team in Saskatchewan. I bet there is a blog out there focused on Mormon honeymoons. I bet there is a blog out there devoted to raising the self-esteem of overweight, transgendered teens. I bet there is a blog out there that catalogs random blogs that coincidentally, links to blogs that fit the prior 3 examples of blogs I just listed.

My point is, if you wonder if there’s a blog for a certain subject, there’s a blog for that subject. If you can imagine it, some ball licker is already chronicling it.

Idea for a shitty blog in hand, I googled ‘blog search’. I hoped there would be a site out there that help me on my way. A site where I could plug in the type of shitty blog I wanted and it would lead me there. And it kind of did. I didn’t find a shitty blog, I found a shitty blog search site.

It’s horrible. Grade A, purebred horrible. This site is gang rape your sister and skull fuck your cat your horrible. The kind of horrible that should only be experienced by orphans in the 3rd world. Horrible on planes and dimensions, as yet, only theorized by modern physics.

This fucking thing sucks.

The 4th result I got when I googled ‘blog search’ was blogsearch.com. Sounded promising. However, while its so highly listed in Google, when you go to it, the fucking thing says they are still working on it and lists search engines I can use to search the web. Thanks cuntstink.

Then as if to help me out it gives a Google input search box. It gives me the fucking ability to search google right from the page I found using Google.

Fuck you.

Like ever other site though, they do have their priorities straight. The left column is Google ads, which nets them probably a good 7 cents a day, and the right column is for sale. Currently its being used to shill their other shitty sites. But hey, make them an offer and you too could have your message up there on the site that adds nothing to the web but is just another Google leech.

The best though is the bottom of the page. First is a great little graphic that gives me a link to the page I am already viewing. Thanks. Then below that is the copyright info which is god damn beautiful. I mean that’s pretty fucking pompous of you. That’s like putting a car alarm on your 1990 Ford Festiva. Or a fat ugly bitch carrying around mace so she doesn’t get raped. Or the Amish running around 10 years ago all worried about Y2K. You solved a problem that doesn’t exist for you. You’re copyrighting a turd. No one wants to steal your shitty little site and claim it as their own. The worthlessness of your site is all the copyright you need.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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Call me a romantic, but you always remember the first girl that gives you crabs.