porkjerky plogWhats My Poopnosis?
Oh christfuck almighty. I’m not a normally a hypochondriac, but since 99.85% of the population currently has it, I just know I am going to get it also. And the from the looks of things, I already do.
Tell it to me straight, that’s a swine flu turd isn’t it? Look at how it turns red around the ends and its dark near the bottom. Fuck, that’s a classic, textbook case of swine flu. And to think I just thought news outlets were pounding this down swine flu down our throats because nothing sells ads like a good disease scare. Me and my shit are looking pretty stupid now.
Thank god for journalistic integrity. Because of their near-constant coverage I know that since I suspect I have it the most rational course of action is to stay at home and try to get over it on my own.
Dear lord, the cure is almost as heinous as this horrible, horrible disease.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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