porkjerky plogMy Achy Breaky Heart
It’s a sad, sad day in the world of shit today. We all knew it was coming though, so its not that big of a surprise. But still, its never easy.
It pains me to bring myself to say this, but within forty-five minutes I only heard Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus 7 times on the radio. I know, it breaks my heart too. Merely days ago you couldn’t scan the entire FM band without hearing it at least twice.
Soon enough it will go the way of Barbie Doll, 500 miles, Tub Thumping and Oops I Did It Again. Not to be heard from again except as background music on retro oriented VH-1 shows. Breaks my heart.
It’s like seeing your grandmother get older and more forgetful. Sure its great to make fun of her because she came home from the grocery store with a bag of dog food for a dog that’s been dead for 5 years, but it’s a sign of bigger, worse things to come.
So while you have a little more time with Miley and Grandma, there’s still a dark cloud of eventuality that’s always hanging over our every encounter with them. Their final resting days are coming and we are now aware of it.
Okay, I have a confession to make. Its worse than I originally let on. Are you sitting down? One of those 7 times I heard Party In The USA was on the NPR Show This American Life. It pains me to say this, but it was used as transitional music.
I know that’s a lot to drop on you and it happened really fast. I am sorry. One day you laugh at grandma as she searches the house for her reading glasses that are on her head, the next day she’s killed by shrapnel while trying to microwave eggs in her cast-iron skillet. Unfortunately that’s what’s happened to Miley’s song.
Don’t worry, the next band wagon just pulled out of the station and is on its way to save us all.
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