porkjerky plogLike Nails Scratching On My Cornea
Ok, I dug deeper. You’re welcome.
After my initial dismay at finding so many results for my youtube search of the word ‘blog’, I started on my prolonged dismay of searching through a ton of those videos to find a shitty blog on there to give an Intermittently Given Porkjerky.com Shitty Blog Award to.
Oh fuck it was painful. Its like someone realized that written blogs have an upper bound on how irritatingly annoying they can be and decided that they could do better. They wanted to grate in a way that could only be done through multimedia blogging.
And god damn if they and a ton of other people didn’t succeed.
When an annoying fat fuck simply sits down and writes a blog post about how shitty their shitty life is that’s one thing. Having to watch and listen to them ramble on is another. In writing there’s no annoying nasal pitched voice that makes you want to puncture your own eardrums. Nor does the annoying fuck end every fucking sentence with “you know”. Neither do you have to put up with them laughing, or more accurately cackling, at their own shitty jokes and puns every 2 seconds.
So, after much painful viewing, the winner of this Porkjerky.com Randomly Award Shitty Blog Award is the moeizsexy25 video blog. Don’t let the 14 views of that video fool you, it truly sucks. I watched a few others and what really set hers apart is that I was only able to take it for 1 minute 28 seconds. That’s as far as I could watch it before shutting down my browser, disconnecting my internet, yanking the power cord to my computer out of the wall, reformatting my hard drive, giving my computer to the retarded kid up the street, throwing the desk the computer was on into the fireplace and calling a priest to see about exorcising my office.
88 seconds, that’s it. Try and beat it I dare you. May god have mercy on your soul should you succeed.
I don’t think you can. She rambles on about how shitty her life is, how her video blog will help her turn things around, alludes to horrible things in her life and that’s when the bile in my throat caused my eyes to water and I had to tap out. I just couldn’t take it any more.
So please everyone take a cue from moeizsexy25 and her video blog: don’t let lack of wit, talent or any semblance of being entertaining stop you from having a blog. In fact, thanks to video, literacy is no longer a criterion either.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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