porkjerky plogRevenge, A Dish Best Served After 26 Of Suffering
Today’s winner of the Porkjerky.com Periodical Shitty Blog Award reminds me of that time I was using the pedestrian bridge to cross over the interstate on my bike and the cops had it and the interstate closed because some nutbag was threatening to commit suicide off of it. I did what any rational person who was being inconvenienced would—I yelled ‘Jump already you stupid motherfucking pussy faggot. Jesus fucking christ. Asshole.’.
If that piece of shit really wanted to kill himself he would have silently taken a bottle of sleeping pills and laid in bed. Or opened a vein in a warm bath in the privacy of his own home. Or spackled his bedroom with his brains. Or any of the thousands of ways to kill yourself without affecting the rest of us who don’t give a shit about how insignificant you think your insignificant life is.
When you do stupid shit in a public forum you are implicitly asking for public comment. Guess what you exhibitionist dumbfucks; I will explicitly oblige you.
My Divorce Drama Blog, is the product of just such an exhibitionist dumbfuck. Its written by some oblivious cunt who wants pity for her choosing to be pitiful. I truly believe some people are only happy when they are unhappy. It gives them a chance to not accept responsibility for their lives and be a victim of circumstances well within their control.
The first line of her first post is one of my favorite ideas mankind has invented. I call it single-motheritis: the ability of a victim to become empowered by choosing to be a victim. To wit she says:
I’ve been looking forward to getting a divorce for a long time…. 26 years to be exact.
Fuck you, you self-righteous martyr whore. There’s three kinds of people in this world. When they reach for a hot pot on the stove and burn themselves, they either:
A. Go, ‘Owww, that hurts like a motherfucker’, quickly let go and learn not to do that again.
B. Go, ‘Owww, that hurt like a mother fucker’, quickly let go and decide to do it again.
C. Say, nothing, leave their hand there for 26 years and then go ‘Owww, that’s hurt like a motherfucker for 26 years. Boy am I a genius for removing it now. I should start a blog and let the world know how awesome I am.‘
The blogs greatness doesn’t end there. If you love other people’s pain even a quarter as much as I do, its an excellent read. Let me highlight the other great parts:
- She filed for divorce on him…when she thought he might file divorce on her.
- Got a restraining order against her husband…and kept living with him.
- Felt so empowerd and liberated from him…when she stopped changing his bed sheets…3 months after she filed for divorce.
And next to her first post were she rubbed it in his face about silently living in misery but wanting a divorce for 26 years, the post that brought the biggest smile to my face was the one where she posted the lyrics to ‘I Will Survive’. Classic single-motheritis.
Boy, she showed him. And for doing so, she’s this random time interval’s winner of the Porkjerky.com Random Time Interval Shitty Blog Award.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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