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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

The Revolution Begins

After a long day of crying, cutting my arms, pushing down old ladies at the grocery store, setting out pools of anti-freeze at the dog park and just generally trying to console myself after finding out my ingenious idea of methodically hunting down and ritualistically killing every blogger on Blogger wouldn’t work to clean up the internet, I got another, as the kids are fond of saying, ‘rad‘ idea.

I remembered who I was. I came back to and decided to live up to my mantra for dealing with all things shitty:

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em;
then drown the motherfuckers in their own piss.

You can’t just casually say how horrible roadside crosses are. You can’t just ask people to think that they might be bad tribute to a loved one. You can’t just research the wrecks, find out the person the crosses are for caused their own death and just leave it at that.

No, no, no. You have to play their game. Embrace the metaphor, pretend they are awesome memorials and carry it on. Treat them like they are a tourist attraction, a destination for all to pilgrimage to and publicize the memorial by letting everyone know about how much of a shitty driver the retard who’s name appears on that cross was. You do that for every cross you find and let people who might put roadside crosses up know that you are actively looking for more to worship and you can’t wait to catalog theirs.

That’s how you deal with the horrible, horrible shit people unthinkingly do. So in that spirit, I am embracing Blogger and asking you to also.

Sign up for a blog with them. Be sure to supply it with an email you want to get rid of and a password you will never remember, that way the blog will be there forever, as god intended.

Then create one single post:

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em;
then drown the motherfuckers in their own piss.

Here’s mine:     http://porkjerky.blogspot.com/

Now, lets do that a million times over. Let’s create as many anti-Blogger Blogger blogs as we can. Maybe someone can create a Blogger blog listing all the anti-Blogger Blogger blogs that we set up. Then I’ll be able to say how you’re a bunch of brainless lemmings for following me and actually creating all those blogs, thus becoming the anti-Blogger Blogger blog anti-blogger.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.