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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

New Or Improved

I think part of the reason that human communication has turned into an unrehearsed play with lines we all need to speak and listen to without actually paying attention to, is bullshit marketing.

We are drowned in ads that we can’t afford to pay attention to. If we did we would spend our entire lives listening to sales pitches. On billboards, on T.V. on the web, in the year 2009 its still even on fax machines and god forbid we even get ads when we do yahoo searches for ‘god knows what’.

I refuse to encourage nonsensical, bullshit marketing messages. People think that if a sentence isn’t grammatically incorrect it must be a valid sentence. No need to apply logic, no need to see if the words contradict one another. As long as they sound good together, they must be—no matter how illogical or contradictory the message is itself.

For example, I will not go into, and have even walked out of restaurants that proclaim themselves famous. What kind of pretentious bullshit is that?

1. Famous doesn’t mean good. McDonalds is famous.

2. If you’re so fucking famous, why are you telling me? Fame precedes you. That’s its nature. You can’t just decide you’re famous and start telling everyone hoping one day your dreams of fame come true through your hard work of telling everyone you’re famous. Fuck you.

So, I will not have anything to do with self proclaimed famous products/services. Same with gourmet. Gourmet restaurants and food don’t say they are gourmet—they just are. You’re wishing and hoping doesn’t make it so.

You can’t claim you’re a great lay because you yourself have cum every time you’ve fucked. It doesn’t work like that. Same with gourmet.

Your homework tonight is to find self proclaimed ‘New and Improved’ products, realize why that statement is contradictory and mail a bag of your own shit to companies that use that to market their products.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.