porkjerky plogGoing To Kansas Shitty (Christ O’Fuck, That’s Witty)
God bless a shitty economy. As I was wandering the mean streets of Kansas City today, I was passed by 2 sewer workers. They turned on the flashing lights atop their truck, got out, unlocked the cover of the truck’s bed, pulled out 2 crowbars and a shiny black manhole cover. Then they went over to the side of the road where there were about 5 manholes, found the one that said KCWSD, clanged it up and off to the side and one of them literally threw the shiny black hole cover on the hole.
No clang. No sparks. Just slightly disappointed junkies. I mean, there were still 4 metal manhole covers on that corner (cable, phone, electrical, and something else) to steal, but the Water Services Department switched out theirs for the fancy new rubberized one.
God bless a bureaucracy.
When I asked the workers why, they toed the company line: that they were doing this because theft of scrap metal was so bad that since they ended up replacing them anyway, they were preemptively switching the metal ones out with less resalable rubberized ones.
I asked if they were being honest and they said they were. But I’m still not convinced that the city itself isn’t the one yanking these things up and selling them for scrap metal. I mean times are tough, and I am fairly certain I saw Kansas City in a trench coat and glasses last Thursday night at the pawn shop hocking some cop cars, a civic center and that guitar its girlfriend got it for its birthday last year. Then there’s the rumors that it sells its food stamps for 70 cents on the dollar down by the river and when times get really tough Kansas City starts giving hand jobs for $7.50 and a pack of smokes behind a couple of the Barbecue joints in the shady side of town.
Most of it may not be factual correct, I forgot to get my interviewee’s name and some of it is obviously my opinion, but damn it: You heard it hear first.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!