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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Grandpa, You’re Full Of Shit

I realized something today as I was sitting on the shitter, playing GameBoy and watching cable on my flat screen T.V.—the world’s come a long way. Kids today don’t know how good they have it.

You see, I come from a different generation than today’s youths. We had it tougher than the teenyboppers now. Things weren’t easy for us; we had some real hard times we had to get through. That’s right, I am talking about the Great Depression….

…And all the boring fucking stories we had to sit through that our grandparents told about it. These lucky kids today don’t have to sit through mindless reminiscing sessions with Grandpa about the Kaiser or FDR or rationing or how he fox trotted with some dame with gams up to here in a soup line.

Holy fuck the old people in my day both wanted your pity (“Oh we had it tough back then”) and your envy (“boy things were sure better back then.”). Pick one or the other old man, the good old hard-times your selling is oxymoronic. In my day, you couldn’t even try to apply logic or critical thinking to the things they said, because I guess they didn’t get invented until after WWII.

So, I implore today’s youth to be braver than us, learn from the mistakes my generation made. Speak up and yell ‘Bullshit’ when your grandma and grandpa start to drone on about how horrible the conditions were at the internment camp they were relocated to during the Cola Wars and how life was also much better then.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.