porkjerky plogHigher Level Species My Ass
Really? I mean come on. Its 2009. This is how we have to live? In the immortal words of the patron saint of bullshit, John Stossel: Give me a break.
There is no fucking reason for this. I mean, they can put a man on the moon and a vagina on a man (Of course they’ve never put a vagina on the moon so maybe we aren’t really living in a technical utopia yet). People are getting face transplants, tits are getting bigger, asses smaller, black people are moving into the white house and morbidly fat people are becoming Shar Peis.
This can’t be right. Why do we have to live like this. You’re telling me with a straight face and you expect me to believe that I have to shit?
Really? 3 million years of evolution and I still produce vile waste every time I eat? I have no idea who invented shitting, but he was an asshole. Someone should have naturally selected his (or most likely her) ass.
Can’t we genetically engineer the next generation to not shit? Like some supped up intestinal system that absorbs everything? This is America right? The laws of thermodynamics still apply—or did I just get dropped off in the 3rd world? E still equals MC squared right? Its not E=MC2 + shit is it?
Come on. Even if we can’t super engineer our bodies to use everything we eat, can’t we perfect some diet where our inferior gastrointestinal systems still use everything?
I have no idea where we get off calling ourselves a higher level species when daily we still have to open up our assholes, slowly push out turds, take a material crudely fashioned from trees and clean shit off ourselves.
Yeah, we are soooo much better than wild animals.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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