Free Shit->Breakup Letter Generator

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Breakup Letter Generator

There's a time in all of our relationships when we find someone much hotter, wealthier and/or more endowed than who we are with. Let me ease these opportunistic times by providing a breakup letter. Select a reason, enter some info add a P.S. message and click the button. Then, just for fun, go get a restraining order or credit card in your ex's name. They're both fun and remarkably easy to get.

*These letters are mostly heterosexualcentric. Mainly, because as our laws, religions and televisions demonstrate, homosexuals do not have real relationships to breakup from, just casual sex ones. Multiple scientific studies have conclusively shown that they are just too busy for them with all the redecorating and child molesting they do. It's a medical fact.

Porkjerky.com Going Green Tip #8: When your drunk ass t-bones a bus and the children burn to death as you walk away uninjured; try and do it on a stretch of road with a bunch of roadside memorials already. That way, the kids' families can repurpose the existing crosses by painting their childrens' names over the ones already there.