There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Do you love Viagra jokes? When someone says, 'Wanna see a Schwarzneggar impression?' do you get giddy with anticipation? Do you use the phrase 'giddy with anticipation'? Ever accidentally let out a little squirt of pee during Hollywood Squares? Be honest. Do jokes punctuated with 'What's up with that?' start you laughing hysterically?

If any of those are true, please leave this site immediately, kill yourself, any offspring you have and your conspirator in procreation (the chick or dude you got it on with to make babies). Not in that order though. You see, if you off yourself first, you won't be able to susansmith your kids or your old lady/man, because you will already be dead. I know, I know, this thinking thing is a lot harder when your TV isn't here to help you out. But please, help the human species evolve by not reproducing your inferior genes. Natural selection is never pretty for those not naturally selected.

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Thinking objectively only hurts the children and makes America vulnerable to the terrorists. So support our troups by accepting, without question, what I say when I tell you what and how to think.

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Failed self-portraits, stand-up material, the hand-turkey I made in the 2nd grade, the kleenex from when I sneezed the image of christ, a 9-11 tribute and other random pieces of shit/art.

Don't bite the pussy that fucks you.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.