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I'm the shy, quiet one.
Featuring The Jason Curless Octette

Funnier Than A Retard On Fire

Do you love Viagra jokes? When someone says, 'Wanna see a Schwarzneggar impression?' do you get giddy with anticipation? Do you use the phrase 'giddy with anticipation'? Ever accidentally let out a little squirt of pee during Hollywood Squares? Be honest. Do jokes punctuated with 'What's up with that?' start you laughing hysterically?

Fuck You & Your Uppity Web Site

If any of those are true, please leave this site immediately, kill yourself, any offspring you have and your conspirator in procreation (the chick or dude you got it on with to make babies). Not in that order though. You see, if you off yourself first, you won't be able to susansmith your kids or your old lady/man, because you will already be dead. I know, I know, this thinking thing is a lot harder when your TV isn't here to help you out. But please, help the human species evolve by not reproducing your inferior genes. Natural selection is never pretty for those not naturally selected.

Listing Of Updates

For those tired of wading through the whole piece of shit site just to find the new crap.

Porkjerky Roulette

Click above to be magically taken to a random page within the site. Ewwww, aaaahhhhh.

Feces Gratis

That's fancy talking for free shit. But don't click yet, here's what else you'll get: Necrophilia Protection, Anti-Spam, Letter Generators, Website Translator, Roadside Memorial Maker, Epithet Generator...

Roadside Memorials

Crash sites, crucifixes, a camera and Curless cackling. You don't want to be caught dead on my site.

The Adulterated Truth About Everything

Thinking objectively only hurts the children and makes America vulnerable to the terrorists. So support our troups by accepting, without question, what I say when I tell you what and how to think.

My Life's Work

Failed self-portraits, stand-up material, the hand-turkey I made in the 2nd grade, the kleenex from when I sneezed the image of christ, a 9-11 tribute and other random pieces of shit/art.

It saddens me that the most appropriate response to people like you in a situation like this has become an overused, hackneyed throw-away phrase. Although we have all heard it at least 4 times today just in passing, please allow me to say it one more time with heartfelt earnest and every fiber of my being behind it: Fuck you.